Scripture
Why this matters
Most couples start with high hopes and big feelings. But feelings rise and fall. The Bible invites us to build on something stronger: holiness before happiness. We made a covenant before Jesus and one another, and that covenant shapes how we love—especially when life gets messy.
The gospel in the guts of marriage
- Creation: Your spouse bears God’s image—precious and worthy of honor.
- Fall: Your spouse is a sinner. (So are you.)
- Redemption: In Jesus, sin is forgiven and we’re reconciled to God.
- Restoration: Marriage points to Christ and His church until He makes all things new.
Three practices to grow a Christ-centered marriage
- Forgive quickly and often. Jesus doesn’t set a cap (Matt. 18:22). Ask for forgiveness freely; extend it generously.
- Help each other pursue holiness. Give one another permission to speak truth in love. If you tend to coddle, grow in truth; if you tend to crush, grow in grace.
- Serve & love through self-denial. Make it a daily goal to out-serve one another—humble yourself to lift up your spouse.
Communication that actually helps
- Talk about that. If you’re thinking about it, bring it up—regularly.
- Everything says something. Learn what lands as love for your spouse (habits, tone, timing).
- Believe the best; don’t mind-read. Ask clarifying questions instead of filling in motives.
- Kill passive-aggressive habits. Clear, gracious words beat hints and withdrawal.
- Ask for help early. Don’t wait until it’s a five-alarm fire. Pastors and trusted couples can help translate.
Where the power comes from
You can’t muscle this on your own. The good news: if you belong to Jesus, the Holy Spirit lives in you. He empowers repentance, forgiveness, truthful love, and persevering service. By His power, a Christ-centered marriage is not only possible—it’s joyful.